So.....

I haven't been here in awhile. It feels a little awkward to be back in the blogging world. I've been feeling for long time now I don't belong anywhere. I am struggling to find where and what I need at this point in my life. I'm pretty sure I know why I am not going anywhere. I am scared to find out the answers; so I am not asking or searching. I am sitting in the comfortable stuck zone that in reality just isn't comfortable. I know I have potential to go far and do things I never imagined, but I am scared. I am scared of being shot down or embarrassed, not good enough, not pretty or funny enough, or worst of all not smart enough. I second guess everything I do. how do I get away from that and believe in myself and the powers out there?? I want to be the person I know I can be...it's just figuring out how to get there.
There are so many wonderful people in my life. I take advantage every day that I have them. I fear one day it will be too late and they will all be gone. I have this passion towards others that I don't let come out too often. I have this desire to serve people and make people happy! I feel that side of me comes out when I am around my coworkers. I feel as though they are family to me; I would do anything for them. I wish that I could be like this around all of the world. I am confident, bold, happy,energetic when I am at work. When it comes to being in a forced social setting where I don't know everyone I shut down and become withdrawn and uncomfortable. The question is why?? This blog probably makes no sense whatsoever, but it feels good to me and that's all I care about right now!