change not bad or good....

Well life is changing. I don't know if I am ready for these changes. I guess I really have no option for some of these changes. I know that leaving my house that I have lived in for 23 years is going to be tough on me. I always thought it would be the happiest day. The closer it gets the harder it is for me. I know that it's going to be a good experience. I really am going to miss my mom a ton. We have definitely had our share of fights, but we are best friends. I guess this is a bitter sweet type of thing huh? Well, I'll be fine.... I have to be. I think one of my biggest fears is that I am going to be so lonely I am not going to know what to do with myself. I will be living with my sister. If you know my sister we are complete opposites. I think this is my time to really understand her and become more of a friend and sister to her. I am going to be happy! I will, I will, I will. I have to keep on telling myself that.

Growing up

I guess in all reality I just don't want to grow up. When I was younger I always wanted to grow up and be an adult. I pretty much thought it was going to be so easy. It's been a rough road. I know I don't exactly have it difficult, but I have had my share of problems. I try not to look back at the negative invents that went on the last couple of years. I am so much happier with life if I just don't. Lately I have been thinking back when I was little. I had everything so easy. I played barbies and house with all my little boyfriends and my one girlfriend. I really enjoyed being outside. I remember this one time when I was playing barbies in my back yard with my good friend "cash" and she was making her barbie and ken kiss and she was being rather loud about it and I told her to be quiet because my neighbors might hear. We still laugh about that. Well that's when I see her. She is married now and has a kid so she is boring. Which leads me to my next thought that I just need to get over. Why are married people so boring? I don't want to get married for that reason...or I want to get married and show my friends that you can be married and still have fun. Ok enough of that. Now it's time to talk about my boss I am struggling with him. He is such a dork!! He freaks out over the dumbest things. I just want to tell him to " calm down" for instance today our aide is sick so I am the front desk and the aide. good times let me tell you. He is getting all up tight and worried about how we are going to have a busy spot. I know we will be just fine I have done it before. I just have to keep my mouth shut and be his puppy dog! I love my job. Well it's time to be brave and head to the back and do some physical therapy. Life is good I shouldn't complain. I just want for one day to be young again and stay home and play outside with not a care in the world. I really should have taken advantage of those days they were great!